Flip Saunders Coaches DeShawn Stevenson

Hey DeShawn. Just wanted to let you know that you have several tattoos on your neck. One of them is Abraham Lincoln.

Oh, and there's a couple on your face too. Tattoos. On your face. Just reminding you.

One more thing, you were a -25 tonight. Yeah, the Heat scored 25 more points than us when you were on the court. Not great. The whole "defensive stopper" thing wasn't really happening, I guess. Next time.

But mostly, I just wanted to remind you about the tattoos that are on your neck and face, because those are still there.

Thanks, DeShawn.

Considering a Throat Tattoo

You guys know I like to stay up on trends. That's why I'm so big in to skateboarding lately. I just really like skitching. It's pretty relaxing. But anyways, one of the big trends so far this year in the NBA is throat tattoos. First DeShawn Stevenson got one so that people would remember who DeShawn Stevenson is:

Then JR Smith got one so people would forget who DeShawn Stevenson is:

All in all, seems like a pretty chill place to get a tattoo. Plus it's a really great look. It gives you a chance to brand yourself (metaphorically and physically) in a place that people don't expect. Basically, it's going viral on your own body. Pretty smart.

But I can't decide what I want to get across the front of my neck. I've got some ideas though.

Might get my favorite player tattooed on my throat.

Might go the Stevenson route and get my favorite president, Millard Fillmore, tattooed on my throat.
Might go the JR Smith route and get someone else's nickname tattooed on my throat.


Might one up them and get my own face tattooed on my throat.

Like I said, it's a pretty tough decision. It's going to affect me for the rest of my life, or until lasers become a lot more affordable through the "Laser in Every Home" program. But that's hardly the point. I want my throat tattoo and I want it now.

So help me, Internet. What should I get tattooed on my throat?

NBA Style Report - October 2009

Dirk Nowitzki

Walter Herrmann is like "nice hair." Then he rolled his eyes and palmed two basketballs in the same hand.

DOWNGRADE

Rasheed Wallace

For 63 years the Celtics have been a world class organization from the front office to the uniforms. Then they signed Sheed and told him it was okay to modify his sweatpants.

DOWNGRADE

Josh McRoberts
It's good to see that McRoberts has embraced the 'zany' bench guy role, albeit with the typical Duke twist (read: juiceboxy).

KIND OF AN UPGRADE

DeShawn Stevenson

Whoops! You still have a neck tattoo of Abraham Lincoln.

DOWNGRADE

Andrei Kirilenko
"I cahn't vait for Jim unt Pahm to be marry. I've been unt fan of John Krahseenski for long time."
UPGRADE

Things I Would Say If I Ever Encountered DeShawn Stevenson

Photo via Truth About It

• "Oh, hey. You're DeShawn Stevenson."
• "Wow. There's a tattoo on your throat."
• "I bet that hurt."
• "Is that Abe Lincoln?"
• "Hmmm..."
• "Oh, there's a crack on your forehead."
• "What's that about?"
• "So, you don't crack, but you got a crack tattoo?"
• "I'm kinda confused."
• "You're saying the only way you crack is if you decide to crack yourself with ink?"
• "I guess it kinda makes sense when you put it that way."
• "What about in the winter, when your skin is really dry? I crack like crazy then."
• "Chapstick helps."
• "Not sure I get the 9 on your face."
• "No, that's not right."
• "No matter how far away I am, it's still a 9."
• "Seriously."
• "It's still a 9 from here."
• "I really don't get your tattoos."
• "Anyways, nice to meet you. Good luck with your face and neck tattoos."