The Best Part of Dwyane Wade's "Homecoming" Episode

Did you guys watch the Dwyane Wade episode of "Homecoming with Rick Reilly?" Rick Reilly is super awkward and wears Michael Jordan jeans, so I can't blame you if you missed the show.

ANYWAYS, I watched the show and I'm glad I did, because of hot chicks. Check out this clip that I ripped from the episode using the most advanced audio/video technology available. At about the 16 second mark you're going to see the hottest chick I've ever seen. It lasts like five seconds, so you know the producers think she's hot too.



Am I right? So hot. Like the Nike Air Lavadomes in the summer. That's how hot.

That super fresh hovering purple shoulder to the right of the screen, that's me. I was on the street that night, doing some serious reporting. And that girl? She's my wife.

So basically Dwyane Wade picked my wife to be on his show, which was filmed in Chicago, which means he's going to come play for the Bulls next season to be closer to her. I'm not worried. I've got a basketball championship, too. Plus I'm taller. Plus he has the same name as her dad, so that would be really weird. Totally advantage me.

Happy Holidays Everyone

Sup. I'm going to be on holiday next week for the holidays, so this will have to serve as the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Boxing Day post. Consider it my gift to you.



MP3: Brad Miller - White Christmas (left-click)

The Annotated Brad Miller Drive

Last night I was watching some NBA basketball on television. I was enjoying the Chicago Bulls versus Sacramento Kings basketball game when Brad Miller decided to drive to the basket. This caused me to have some laughs.



Unfortunately, I couldn't find a true copy of the game because of 'blackouts' and 'legal restrictions', so this video will have to do. Nothing says aesthetic quality quite like a videotaped screen with annotations. But for seriously, make some laughs with me as Brad Miller fakes out Spencer Hawes, plays to the camera, and causes the announcers to say some of the most obviously crazy things ever uttered on a broadcast.

The Brad Miller Show - Episode 1

Brad Miller and sidekick Brian Scalabrine discuss guns, nicknames, and sprinting.

The Brad Miller Show: Brad Miller Cuts His Beard

In this thrilling conclusion (maybe...) to season one of The Brad Miller Show, our hero sheds his facial hair.

The Brad Miller Show: An Evening with Brad Miller

Brad Miller is just a normal guy. He does laundry, cleans up cat poop, and bakes pizza. You know, normal guy stuff.

The Brad Miller Show: Brad Miller Replicates Dunks from Past Dunk Contests by Touching His Ceiling

Hey, Brad Miller's a fan too.

The Brad Miller Show: Brad Miller Eats Fun Dip

Some athletes take expensive supplements for energy. Others are slaves to 5 Hour Energy, Red Bull, and other sugar-laden disasters. Not Brad Miller. He kicks it old-school; nickel and dime store Fun Dip, son.

The Brad Miller Show: Brad Miller Helps Families Save Their Homes

Using ingenuity, common sense, and stoner logic, Brad Miller proposes a plan to help normal families pay their mortgages.

The Brad Miller Show: Brad Miller Practices Martial Arts

Seeking to add quickness and agility to his game, Brad Miller has begun martial arts training.

Happy Birthday to Me

Maybe I didn't get what I asked for, but the fact that Brad Miller is coming back to Chicago is the next best thing I could possibly receive in the realm of the NBA. He even sent me this mostly lucid video:

25 is shaping up to be a GREAT year.

Patrick Ewing's Internet Technology School

Another Holiday Gift Idea

I like helping people. That's why, in my real life, I just walk around dispensing valuable advice to people less fortunate than me. I dispense such wisdom as "Hey, cheer up. Man," or, "I love it when you call me Big Poppa." Nuggets like these come easily to me, so I have to share the wealth.

It's for that reason, that I present to you a most excellent poster that you can give to friends and loved ones this holiday season:

Clicking on that picture will take you to a link where you can print out individual sheets that you can then assemble in to your very own James Jones/Skee-Lo inspirational poster. This is a great gift idea for anyone who likes James Jones, 90s one-hit wonder rappers, or laughing at jokes. Or, if that person is me, all three.

Plus, it's free. What can beat that?

An Exclusive Holiday Offer

This is something that I mentioned on Twitter a while back. If you send me one US dollar via PayPal, I will draw a picture of what I'd guess you probably look like, based solely on a guess. This picture will be done in either marker or colored pencil (YOU CHOOSE). It will then be sent as both a hard copy and a JPEG to the addresses of your choice.

The first one, for friend of the blog Devine, turned out great. If you're interested, let me know in the comments and we'll figure it out.

More Life Lessons with Brad Miller

Once again, the NBA's favorite stoner shares invaluable advice...

Life Lessons with Brad Miller

One of the NBA's preeminent stoners, Sacramento's Brad Miller, was gracious enough to sit down and give The Blowtorch a series of stories about his life. His life's lessons, if you will. This is the first of those stories:

The Blowtorch 2008 NBA Draft Manual

I put together a little document for tonight's draft. It's got the NBADraft.net Top 100. It's got the latest Draft Express mock draft. It's got a bunch of lists of players I like and don't like. It's even got a listing of the full order of the draft so you can follow along at home, adding in the draft picks as they are announced. Needless to say, this thing will be handy tonight. Download it, print it, study it.

Download The Blowtorch's 2008 NBA Draft Manual

UPDATE: Thanks to Todd, here's a mirror to the manual.

World Premiere: Kelly Dwyer on the Guitar

A Blowtorch original: