By now, you know that LeBron is making some sort of announcement on January 18th. But what could it be?
Here's some hypotheses:
- Notorious was alright. Not great, not bad, just alright.
- A co-sponsorship between Nike and Rogaine, in order to minimize the effect that his dependency on terrycloth to disguise his male-pattern baldness has upon the environment.
- Apologizes for the LeBron's Lightning Lemonade gum, which "didn't really taste that good."
- He found Damon Jones.
- Another pair of clunky shoes.
- Yet ANOTHER pair of clunky shoes.
- More clunky shoes.
- The new pronunciation of his name: Lay-Broon. It coincides with a Ralph Lauren collaboration to be released in France.
- That he thought "Jockin' Jay-Z" was pretty bad, but he likes "Brooklyn (Go Hard)."
- Has reconsidered the global icon approach. Now wants to be a desktop icon.
- Something involving Lil' Wayne*, which will be named LeBron Wayne.
- That he's really excited for Lost to come back. "Polar bears need love, yo."
- Crab dribble instructional tape.
*As I typed this, I realized that this is probably true. Think about it. Weezy has been in the last two LeBron commercials. He's the biggest star in rap right now, and he'll do a track with ANY BODY. What's keeping LeBron and Wayne from doing a rap song? If/when this happens, it will immediately become my least favorite song of 2k9.
